My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
