Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
third nipple confirmed
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
