Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
