Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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