he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
