I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
