I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
