I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
