This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
