no, he came in my armpit
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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