is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
