he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Enjoy the penises
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
