kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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