Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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