You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
