So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
