ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you had me at cake vodka
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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