your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
