this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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