i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
