so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize