Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
