I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
