The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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