Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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