What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
