So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
