How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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