I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
