is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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