I just made out with a guy for $7.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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