u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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