I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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