i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
