that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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