the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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