I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
