I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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