There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
