I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
