found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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