then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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