and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
