is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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