I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
