Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
