Four minutes until I can fart!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
