she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
