Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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