yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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