i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
