so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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