Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Mom said you looked used
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i think my cat just said my name.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
