We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He shit in the fireplace
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize