but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
