Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
