not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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