Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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