Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
