he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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